Are you willing to admit that you are feeling needy? When you feel needy do you fall into the societal trap of feeling toxic shame for experiencing part of the human condition – neediness? Watch the video to learn more…
What are four things we can do when we are feeling needy?
1. Acknowledge your neediness. Admit to yourself that you are feeling needy.
2. Would you be willing to accept that you are feeling needy? If you are not willing to accept that you are feeling needy, would you be willing to accept that you are not willing to accept your neediness?
3. Breathe. Give yourself permission, space, and support to explore whether or not this need is a need that you are capable of meeting yourself. If it is, I invite you to give yourself what you need. 🙂
4. If you truly cannot meet your need and need external support, then ask for it from a place of acknowledgement and connectedness. The more grounded you are in vulnerably expressing your authentic need, the more likely people will be willing to support you in helping you meet your need.
Chances are if you are human, you’ve experienced the wonderful pleasure of feeling triggered. Either something someone said or did likely set you off. Perhaps you felt unworthy, sad, angry, unloved. You may have cried, screamed, yelled, gone off and hidden in your wo(man) cave, or all of the above. You may have reacted to the trigger and ripped someone a new one or told them how you really feel…possibly regretting it later. Ouch.
Sounds pleasant, doesn’t it? Perhaps you’ve gone so far as to blame the other person for what you are experiencing. Doh. Psst…your feeling triggered has absolutely nothing to do with the person who has triggered you.
If feeling triggered is such a volatile experience, how and why is it beneficial? Read on to discover why I feel grateful when I feel triggered and why I would rather experience a trigger than feel like someone has to walk on their tip-toes around me.
- It shows us that we are human.
If we were never triggered, we’d be robots. We are emotional beings here to soak up this incredibly human experience of being human – part of which is feeling triggered at times.
- It shows us what is unresolved and unhealed within ourselves.
Feeling triggered is an opportunity to look into the mirror of your soul and see what is there in a way that we are unable to without someone else reflecting back our stuff. It’s an opportunity and a gift to be shown where the dark, fertile soil resides so that we may tend to the earth of our heart and plant the nourishing seeds of our souls.
- Intimacy, or into-me-I-see.
Are you craving intimacy? Here is your opportunity to step through the threshold, open up and be intimate with the person who triggered you (as long as you feel safe doing so). It’s also an opportunity to share an incredibly intimate co-versation with the part of yourself that is asking for resolution and healing.
- The art of vulnerability and authenticity.
Would you be willing to share when you feel triggered, vulnerable and raw? Or, are you more likely to put on a stoic mask and hide your triggered self under the rug, in the dark recesses of your closet, or under your bed? There is little more real than being fully present in the moment and authentically sharing from your heart your vulnerable self.
- Projecting or owning your own shizzle.
When you give yourself permission to step back for a moment and witness yourself being yourself, you can see whether you spew projections at others when you feel triggered, whether you internalize your projections, or whether you own your own shizzle. Each of these has its benefits and its pitfalls. The first step is noticing which you tend to do and why.
So, next time you feel triggered, buckle up and get ready for a wild ride. I’d be curious to hear how these 5 benefits to feeling triggered help you weather your next storm.