It has been years since I have celebrated my birthday. One year, I just stopped celebrating.
I stopped asking people to come celebrate with me. You see, I had realized something. I realized that the majority of friends I have in my local area are not the type to remember my birthday unless I reminded them, or FaceBook sent a little reminder stating “It’s Amanda’s Birthday today!” (which does have its benefits at times). Nor, are they the type to reach out to me and celebrate my being here. It was a big ol’ horse pill to swallow and one that did not go down well at the time. It’s an interesting experience, letting go of expectations and accepting people exactly as they are, then choosing what it is you want to do.
Upon piercing the veil of illusions – the veils of friendship, the veils of celebrations, the veils of everything I was seeing around me and not participating in when it came to birthdays, celebrations, etc – I stopped. I walked away from my birthday and my celebrating the day I arrived here on this flying spaceship, living planet called Gaia/Earth. The day I decided to make my grand entrance onto this planet and into this world. The day where I fully chose to be here now and give this human experience another go-round.
I stopped and I walked away from myself.
Last week, I decided it was high time for me to welcome myself home again, to celebrate my birth, my choice to be in-bodied in this incredible avatar here in this day and age.
I choose to take this remarkable day to honor who I am, the incredible growth over the year, the ups and downs, the times when I cried for days feeling my pain, the times when my heart burst with so much love, and gratitude, and beauty, that tears fell from my eyes, the times when I laughed so hard that my belly and face hurt from laughing so much…the times when I saw myself reflected in another…
to intentionally pause, see, witness, and embrace the woman I have become and am becoming. I choose to take this day of my birth to love myself in ways I have not given myself permission to in the past.
On this day, I choose to celebrate the cycles of my own birth-death-birth/live-death-live processes.
I choose to be present with myself and my connection to all life, celebrating, in my own way, the parts of myself that have died over the years, the skin that I have shed, the letting go of who I have thought I needed to be or should be, so that I could step into who I am and behold myself as one would a new born. I am so very much looking forward to seeing myself and welcoming myself home.
In welcoming myself home, I am un-baking myself a cake and loading it up with all sorts of goodies to fortify and amplify my health and well-being. It’s my wish to share with you my raw, vegan, superfood chocolate cheesecake.
Raw, Vegan, Superfood Chocolate Cheesecake
Basic cheesecake recipe adapted from Chocolate Covered Katie
2 1/2c raw cashews (soaked)
1 TB vanilla bean paste or extract
1/2c pure maple syrup
1/4c plus 1 TB melted coconut oil
juice of 3 lemons
1/4c living, spring water
1/8 tsp Celtic sea salt
1/2c raw cacao powder
1 TB schisandra berry powder
1 TB lycium powder
Optional: frozen berries or dried, candied orange slices to top
Makes 1 cheesecake, or 4 cheese-tartlettes
Soak the cashews 4-6 hours or overnight. Strain well. In a high-powdered blender, or food processor, combine all of the ingredients (except for the optional ones and anything you are putting on top), and blend until smooth.
Pour into either a spring-foam pan, a pie pan, or small tart pans. You could use muffin tins as well. I recommend lining any and all of the above with parchment paper.
Place into the freezer and freeze until ready to eat. Thaw for ~15 min. prior to serving and top with your favorite toppings.